I am referring to the ever-popular mother-based developmental psychology, whose inclination is to reduce the experience of motherhood to a linear pattern, which overlooks, for each, the call to an individual destiny. This notion does great disservice to both mothers and their offsprings, as it traps them in what James Hillman1 called a one way vertical causality, which by its name suggests that only mothers can set in motion the causes that determine the effects: the child’s overall adjustment, ad infinitum. This is not only illogical, but also very dismissive of the countless energies and influences that contribute to shaping our lives. Such a belief is made to accommodate ego, rather than spirit.

Actually, taking into account the law of cause and effect, your adult children may simply be responding to the false belief they sensed all along was your foundation for motherhood. Understanding the source of our false beliefs is really the first step to initiate change.

How do I change such a deep-seated guilt producing belief?

First, you need to remember that personality, temperament and character are born, much more than they are made. Furthermore, you are very fortunate to be alive at a time when concepts such as karma, synchronicity and the law of attraction have become part of our everyday language. This phenomenon has opened the door to a new way of envisioning a higher purpose for our relationships. We can now appreciate that children come into this life bearing gifts and are fully equipped to realize their destiny.

As people progress on the spiritual path, they begin to recognize that their souls were attracted to the lessons that could be learned in their respective families. As we realize there is no mistake, we can further drop our attachment to the roll we took on this time around. This enables us to see the reciprocity of karma, which cancels out the guilt producing linear pattern and allows us to contemplate the possibility that our children are also here to teach us.

1 The Soul’s Code, by James Hillman

This article was published in Rising Women Magazine Fall 2009

Here I am referring to the ever-popular mother-based developmental psychology, whose inclination is to reduce the experience of motherhood to a linear pattern, which overlooks, for each, the call to an individual destiny. This notion does great disservice to both mothers and their offsprings, as it traps them in what James Hillman1 called a one way vertical causality, which by its name suggests that only mothers can set in motion the causes that determine the effects: the child’s overall adjustment, ad infinitum. This is not only illogical, but also very dismissive of the countless energies and influences that contribute to shaping our lives. Such a belief is made to accommodate ego, rather than spirit.

Actually, taking into account the law of cause and effect, your adult children may simply be responding to the false belief they sensed all along was your foundation for motherhood. Understanding the source of our false beliefs is really the first step to initiate change.

How do I change such a deep-seated guilt producing belief?

First, you need to remember that personality, temperament and character are born, much more than they are made. Furthermore, you are very fortunate to be alive at a time when concepts such as karma, synchronicity and the law of attraction have become part of our everyday language. This phenomenon has opened the door to a new way of envisioning a higher purpose for our relationships. We can now appreciate that children come into this life bearing gifts and are fully equipped to realize their destiny.

As people progress on the spiritual path, they begin to recognize that their souls were attracted to the lessons that could be learned in their respective families. As we realize there is no mistake, we can further drop our attachment to the roll we took on this time around. This enables us to see the reciprocity of karma, which cancels out the guilt producing linear pattern and allows us to contemplate the possibility that our children are also here to teach us.

1 The Soul’s Code, by James Hillman

This article was published in Rising Women Magazine Fall 2009