"Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses all understanding"

-Kahill Gibran

     In Canada, at long last, previously sealed adoption records were opened, simply because the collective consciousness of the people was ready. Until recently, individuals who were directly involved in the social phenomenon of adoption, such as birth mothers and their adopted offspring could only fantasize about finding each other.

     Over the last 25 years or so, the culture of shame and secrecy surrounding ‘dysfunctional families’ was finally identified and relinquished, with the help of countless therapies, tailor made to address every aberration under the sun.

     With such a massive push towards ‘truth’ exerted on our social conscience, the legacy of adoption secrets could naturally not remain hidden. The fact that illegal and unethical tactics were used to manipulate young, unmarried mothers to surrender their white babies for adoption to white, infertile couples from the 1940’s to the 1980’s is now being exposed. The truth is that psychological coercion methods were used systematically to obtain babies for the adoption industry which itself had emerged as part of a social engineering project aimed at making the ‘family’ central to its social values.

    The decades following World War II are commonly referred to as the “Baby Scoop Era” in adoption literature. Although these atrocities happened in many other countries including the United States, New Zealand, Australia, Ireland, Spain and the United Kingdom, the name seems all the more appropriate for Canada whose population was at about 12 million in 1945, yet had managed to scoop up 400,000 babies by 1980, when its population had reached about 24 million. Middle class social standing depended largely on a married couple’s ability to create a family.

    Today, enquires, apologies and class-action law-suits are taking place in every country that participated in the “Baby Scoop Era”. Governments and religious organizations are being held accountable for the irreparable damage which they have caused to both infants as well as mothers. Decades later, the consequences of which; are still experienced as the lingering trauma of abrupt separation. Adoptees that grew up believing they were abandoned at birth need to know the truth about their forced adoption.

    In 1969, I entered a maternity home carrying a suitcase full of baby clothes and a few months later exited without a baby. Brainwashing is defined as a forced, systematic, radical change of belief. We now know that these babies were not surrendered voluntarily. They were stolen.

    Reconciliation with the passed can only be made possible by knowing the truth. Therefore, truth is still the main ingredient in Truth and Reconciliation.

     This new climate of openness also fosters an understanding that the biological roots of behaviour extend into multi-generational patterns passed down in families without awareness, but where the only hope of healing is through awareness. [Additional Info] However promising the future may appear with possibilities of reunions between biological parents and children, siblings and the extended family, there remains a need to prepare for the avalanche of feelings that is bound to be triggered by the mere attempt to resolve the past.

   No matter what we might anticipate, introducing a new member will undoubtedly shake the family tree right down to its roots and ultimately our only power lies in our choice of perception.

    Having experienced the roller coaster of emotions to be expected under these circumstances, coupled with many years of experience as a family counsellor, I would like to offer my expertise to those of you who have gone or will go through the reunion transition. I would also like to offer my assistance to all who are experiencing the ongoing challenges of adjusting to new family dynamics.

     I Invite you to gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics involved throughout all interpersonal relationships including:

• Family of Origin
  
• One's own family with spouse and children
  
• Post adoption Family
  
• Step family
  

     I also facilitate post-adoption reunions by providing a new perspective on family dynamics.

    A good relationship is a privilege well earned!!