Being Adopted Does Not Change Your
Genealogy
Your Family Tree is Part of You
When adoptees find their biological roots, most of them also discover their true birth order. Psychological research has shown a direct link between the place a child occupies in the sibling unit and certain ‘role’ behaviours and outlook. Sometimes they also discover the name that their natural mothers had given to them. These and numerous other details will help to form a more complete picture to connect them to their origins and sense of identity. However, for both mother and child, this will also demonstrate that even our identity is not static.
Shaking the Family Tree
"Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses all understanding"
- Kahlil Gibran
Relinquishing Attachments
"I had an extraordinary experience of relinquishing an attachment, which had eluded me all these years. The trickiest attachments are, of course the ones, which our ego keeps from our awareness, hence the inability to let go. This experience has really taught me about the cost of having attachments.I had searched for my daughter for several years, so when she was 30 years old, I had to come to terms with the possibility that maybe she had no desire to find me. Where she was adopted, the adoption files had already been open for several years, so I concluded that if she had registered with the post-adoption registry, a match would have been made by now. I had never wanted to impose myself on her. Not knowing the circumstances of her childhood, there was always the possibility that she didn’t know she was adopted. I didn’t want to upset her life in any way. So, for these, among, other reasons, I had always wished that she would find me first. However, I had now reached a place within myself where I was contemplating letting go of the dream altogether. Having surrendered this child for adoption had impacted my life on all levels, and coloured every event so far. I concluded that perhaps the time had come for me to surrender her again."